


in twilight

by jjokkiri



Series: monsta x bingo (winter 2017) [32]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Monsta X Bingo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-19 02:00:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10629837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjokkiri/pseuds/jjokkiri
Summary: Kihyun is eighteen when he earns the Crown, and Hoseok is eighteen when he first learns of heartbreak.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the _Royalty AU_ square of [Monsta X Bingo](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/MXbingo). I'm... almost done my blackout. *^*

The moonlight streamed into the room, kissing the sheer curtains hanging over the window and the gold-trimmed furniture in the room with a soft glow. The door was locked and in the center of the room, a pair laid in the middle of the bed curled in one another’s arms. The smaller man buried his face into the other man’s chest; they’re a mess of tangled arms, legs and soft whispers.

“I can’t stay long,” Hoseok whispered, carding his fingers through Kihyun’s hair. The Crown Prince, Yoo Kihyun, peered up at him with a frown on his lips. They’re eighteen years old—they’ve known one another their entire lives—and they’re insistently in love with one another. “You know I can’t stay in your quarters for very long. There’s only a set amount of time deemed reasonable for me to be here.”

“I’m the Crown Prince,” Kihyun declared, brows furrowing, “I can do what I want, and you’re going to stay with me.”

It was a ridiculous statement, but endearing, nonetheless. Hoseok’s lips curled into a small smile and he pressed his forehead against Kihyun’s, “My love,” he whispered, and Kihyun shivered, eyes downcast. “You know it doesn’t work like that.”

Growing up, Kihyun said it often: ‘ _I’m the Crown Prince, I can do what I want. When we grow up, I’m going to marry you, because no one can say anything. I’ll be the King.’_ Before reality struck them, it was a plan set in stone—ever since they were seven years old and running around together in the stables, laughter bursting from their lips. Kihyun would take the throne and they’d spend the rest of their lives together in peace, without the need to think about the unforgiving frowns of the people around them, because the word of the King was law.

But, reality didn’t work like that. It couldn’t work like that.

A king needed an heir, an heiress. Someone who hailed from royalty and someone who was his own flesh and blood.

A prince needed to marry a princess upon taking the throne and becoming king for the sake of their monarch. As heartbreaking as it was, as much as it would tear apart their hearts, marrying the court musician’s son couldn’t give them that: _Hoseok wasn’t royalty._ He didn’t hail from a royal bloodline, unlike Kihyun did. He wasn’t someone who was acceptable—and most importantly: neither of them could bear children.

They’re not supposed to be together, now. And the sun was down—Kihyun wished they could go back to the days when they were young, and free. When nothing mattered, and if he kissed Hoseok on the cheek, it was just a matter of best friends; a matter of the prince blessing his _friend_. If he could, he would take Hoseok’s hand and take them out to the stables, mount their horses and plead that Hoseok take him _far away_ —like when they were children.

He’d want to relive the moment when Hoseok kissed him for the first time—asked his permission and pressed their lips together, softly. He could recall it like it was yesterday, but nothing felt like Hoseok’s lips on his for real. They were thirteen and Kihyun felt unstoppable, when he was with Hoseok.

There was the wind rushing through his hair and enveloping him in the familiar freedom. Hoseok was always a better rider than he was—the older man used to laugh at him when they were learning, together. Kihyun never quite grasped it as quickly, and when they escaped the castle together to run to open fields without the King and Queen knowing, it would be on horseback. Kihyun’s hands would grip into Hoseok’s clothing for the sake of his life and Hoseok would laugh at him.

The first time Hoseok kissed him, they were in the middle of the field they always seemed to wander to. They were completely alone, and Hoseok complained about how his fingers hurt from the growing calluses from playing the harp his mother had handed to him. Kihyun had smiled and told him he was amazing, and then those callused fingers were gently brushing against Kihyun’s cheek with a small smile.

“You think so?” Hoseok had asked him, eyes twinkling at the praise. Kihyun had nodded, eyes gleaming with pride.

“Mother even said that she would like for you to perform for the court, next time,” Kihyun said. “But, I didn’t tell you that. You’re not supposed to know until your mother tells you about it!”

Thirteen year old Hoseok had smiled with his fingers still warm on Kihyun’s cheek, and he tilted his head. This far away from the castle, Hoseok dared to call him by his name; “Hey, Hyun…”

“Hm?”

“Can I kiss you?”

They’d been together since they were little—Hoseok had always lived in the castle. Growing up, they stayed by one another’s side, because Hoseok was the only other child in the castle. Kihyun’s parents were fond of the music Hoseok’s mother made, granted her the opportunity to stay inside the safety of the castle walls. They’d stayed by one another’s side for every moment—even when Hoseok’s mother scolded him for letting the Crown Prince wrap his wounded fingers with bandages.

When they were younger, they were free. No one cared as much, and Hoseok would take care of his wounds in the middle of the night, when they got back to Kihyun’s chambers with laughter still escaping their lips in breathless gasps. Some nights, they’d end up rolling in bed together and hugging. They’re fourteen when Kihyun dares to utter that he’s in love, and they’re sixteen when Hoseok dares to kiss him again, with their fingers linked together.

But, the problem with falling in love at such a young age was that they knew they wouldn’t last forever. It’s not negative thinking; it’s a fact.

Kihyun would give anything to be with Hoseok forever, but he had a country to rule and tomorrow morning, he’d be getting married to a pretty princess from some foreign land, because his parents thought it was best to unite the lands. Of course, he had no choice but to agree.

He’s not supposed to be here. He wasn’t supposed to be laying in Hoseok’s arms, the night before he was to be wedded to someone else. He wasn’t supposed to be laying with another man, at all. But, everyone turned blind eyes to everything he wanted.

Hoseok was supposed to perform at his coronation and at his wedding. There wasn’t anything more painful than the sweet smile the older man flashed him, when he _promised_ that he’d be there to see the crown finally grace Kihyun’s head. But, that meant he’d be witnessing Kihyun taking the hand of a woman he didn’t love, or know, in holy matrimony for the better of the land.

They both knew they couldn’t stay like this forever.

Hoseok just accepted it so much earlier than Kihyun had—let the younger man believe in all the dreams he could manage, with a childish hope. That hope that they could stay together forever; fall in love and be as they were.

Hours marching towards the sunrise taunted them, and every ticking second meant a moment closer to dawn—a moment closer to the second he would hear a knock on his chamber’s doors, signifying that he needed to climb out of bed and prepare for the wedding. Kihyun dreaded it. Instead, he drowned himself in Hoseok’s presence.

“Then, will you leave me?” Kihyun asked, his fingers spread out on Hoseok’s bare chest.

Hoseok held his breath, fingers tilting up the younger man’s chin too look at him. Kihyun’s eyes avoided his for a few seconds. The older man’s hands were bandaged and the fabric is soft against Kihyun’s skin—he wished it were Hoseok’s soft fingertips on him, instead.

“My prince, you are the air in my lungs and every word I speak; the thoughts in my head and my happiness. _My everything_ ,” Hoseok whispered, his fingers curling into the Crown Prince’s hair and gently carding them through. If anyone saw them, he’d be charged with something ridiculous for touching the Crown Prince, like this. But, the public eye couldn’t know what they were—what they’d grown up to be. “How could I leave you?”

“Perhaps, because you wouldn’t be able to bear seeing the love of your life get married in front of your eyes?” Kihyun said, softly, “Maybe, you’d leave because you don’t want to go through all of that pain? What about that?”

Hoseok fixed him with a confused stare, “What are you asking me?”

“I’m asking you to run away,” Kihyun breathed, after a moment of silence, “As the thoughts in your head and the person who loves you more than anything, I want you to run away. I don’t want you to see me getting married to someone I don’t know; I don’t want you to see me holding someone who _isn’t you_ ; someone I don’t love.”

“But, I want to be by your side,” Hoseok argued, voice soft. Kihyun inhaled sharply.

“How can I stand you being so close to me, if I can’t hold you? If I can’t love you like this? How can I stand being so close to you without wanting to kiss you? I’ll be a married man, Hoseok. What am I supposed to do, if you’re right there? _I’d want you to hold me._ ”

“Don’t be so selfish, my prince,” the musician urged, “What of me if I were to leave you? What about the guilt I’d feel? We’ve always been by one another’s side. What would I do without you? Without the royal family? I’d be nothing.”

“I’ll grant you anything you want, anything I possibly could, Hoseok,” Kihyun said. The tone is all too familiar, and they both know where it’s all headed—where they’re headed. The entire universe seemed to be falling apart around them, and neither of them could hold it together. Hoseok’s eyes flashed with a sadness.

“My prince… don’t. You _can’t_ ,” he said, quietly. They’re so close that he doesn’t need to raise his voice any louder than a whisper. “All I want is you. Don’t _make_ me leave you.”

“Hoseok, if they find out about us, they’ll kill you. I wish we could live in my fantasy world where I could do anything I wanted, but we _can’t_ ,” Kihyun swallowed, his fingers brushing against Hoseok’s jawline, his eyes flashing with pain. Hoseok’s beautiful eyes are a mirror to his, and Kihyun’s fingers curled into the silk sheets beneath his body.

“ _Kihyun_ ,” Hoseok breathed, and it’s a desperate whisper. Kihyun pretends to not hear him.

_“In my name—in the name of the Crown Prince, I order you to leave this province by sunrise.”_

And the heartbreak tears them both apart as soon as the words leave Kihyun’s lips. Hoseok’s eyes sharp and bright with pain, but they’d both seen it coming. It didn’t mean that it hurt any less. Kihyun wrapped his arms around himself, fingers pulling away from Hoseok’s face, as if it burned to touch him. The look in his eyes glowed with hatred for himself—suddenly, so disgusted in himself for using his authority like this.

It takes Hoseok slipping off of the bed, head hung low, for them both to snap out of an eerie silence. When Hoseok’s back is turned and Kihyun can’t see the broken look on his face anymore, he reaches out to catch the older man’s hand.

Kihyun’s fingers laced with Hoseok’s and he gripped tightly. Kihyun is eighteen when he learns what it means to be torn apart with heartbreak.

“Wait,” he breathed. Hoseok paused, turning to him. There’s a flicker of hesitance in his eyes, and Kihyun’s mouth burns dry. Suddenly, he couldn’t remember why he’d stopped the older man in the first place. But, the seconds pass and he snaps out of it when he hears the crickets chirping quietly, outside.

“Yes, my prince?” Hoseok pressed, ever so gentle—always so gentle.

“Can I be selfish?” he asked, softly. Hoseok’s lips curled into a bitter smile, and he sighed softly.

“You’ll be the King, tomorrow morning,” Hoseok started, “You’re going to become a generous leader of an entire country. Are you asking me if you can have one last bit of selfishness before all of that?”

Kihyun’s grip tightened, “ _Please_.”

Hoseok’s eyes softened and he nodded, “… of course, my love. Anything for you.”

“I want to remember us, until I can find you again. I promise I’ll find you again. Will you kiss me and make me yours, before you go?”

And when Hoseok presses him into the sheets, they pretend it’s not the last time they’ll touch; they pretend it doesn’t hurt. But, Kihyun’s never broken a promise before.

**Author's Note:**

> as always, feel free to find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/kkyunjus) or [tumblr](https://jjokkiri.tumblr.com/)!


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